The amount Britons spend on domestic animals has doubled in the past decade to over £5bn a year. Nearly half of UK households own a pet and 5% are classified as “extreme humanizers” of posh pets. So, here’s how posh pets rescue their hopeless owners.

Pets make imbeciles of us all, and if the Secret World of Posh Pets (4 August, 8 pm, ITV) is anything to go by, the idiocy is off the chart when you have money to burn.

A dream come true for posh pets… Brielle (right) with her unicorn pony.
A dream come true for posh pets… Brielle (right) with her unicorn pony.

Meet the People Who Lavishly Spend on Animals

Over the past five weeks, the show has introduced us to people who spare no expense when it comes to their posh pets. Asset manager Zayn spends five grand on a black savannah cat, while Brielle rides a “unicorn” at her birthday party.

Falcon breeder Bryn collects sperm wearing a special sex hat that male falcons find irresistible. Debi and Bob, whose £1.4m mansion in Kent is a playground for 13 dogs, organized a wedding for Honey and Joey, complete with a “gourmet” dog food cake. Honey arrived in a carriage drawn by a miniature pony, dressed like “a doggie version of Princess Kate”.

Bride be lovely … Honey the chihuahua as the ultimate posh pet.
Bride be lovely … Honey the chihuahua as the ultimate posh pet.

When Posh Pets Fill the Holes in Our Lives

More money than sense? Undoubtedly, but there’s a subtle seam of melancholy here in which otherwise sentient adults fill human-shaped holes in their lives. And, a posh pet does just that. They do so with creatures that repay their indulgences by chewing their shoes and crapping on their kitchen floor. For some, love means getting on their knees to scrub the undercarriage of an anus-faced pot-bellied pig.

Understanding the Drivers Behind Lavish Posh Pets

Ultimately, Secret World of Posh Pets is less about pet ownership than the lengths people will go to in order to love and be loved. Despite the arch narration, there’s an earnestness to the human protagonists that invites us to understand what drives them to fill their homes with giant rabbits or cry actual tears over the birth of a hedgehog.

In a world that often seems hostile, it’s no wonder we turn to pets for companionship and love. And if some people choose to express their affection through lavish spending on their animal friends, who are we to judge? After all, posh pets rescue the lives of those who are hopeless, and that’s fine with us.

Source: The Guardian

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